Homework : Week 1 questions

From Rev. Michael J. Dangler's The ADF Dedicant Path Through the Wheel of the Year:
 Why have you chosen to take the first steps on the Dedicant Path?
 Is this a step on your path, or will this become the Path itself?
 What do you expect to learn?
 What would you like to get out of this journey? 
 Do you know where this path will take you?


Sounds like a lot of questions, but it really only comes down to one: Why I am doing this? I've been a member of ADF since 2005, 9 years this September. In those (almost) 9 years, I've started the DP, stalled, and picked up where I left off many times. In the beginning, it was meant to be the path itself -- a way to sort out my thoughts on spirituality and religion within ADF's framework. Then I started to feel the pull to something beyond that: clergy, serving my community in a larger capacity than just hosting High Days. That realization was overwhelming. Exciting and invigorating but still incredibly overwhelming and frightening, sometimes so much so that I'm stopped dead in my tracks. It's like looking at a mountain and wanting more than anything to climb to the very top, but all you can see at the moment is how BIG the mountain is and how long it will take. It's not easy to step back and look for the way-stations along the route.

Do I think the DP is hard? No...and yes. Do I find the assignments difficult? Not really; reading and writing and philosophizing are some of my favorite activities. Do I have doubts about my ability to finish it? Sometimes. Do I have my doubts about the value of the DP in my life? No. Whether I manage to complete my DP and take the next step toward ADF clergy or not, working the DP, to any extent, makes me focus on what I believe, how I express those beliefs, what is my "truth", and how does it fit with a modern worldview while still honoring the beliefs of my ancestors.

I'm still working on sorting my thoughts on religion and spirituality and adding magic into the mix. I may just be piling more rocks onto to my mountain, making the pinnacle increasingly further away, but I'm trying to focus on the journey -- and really appreciating the cozy fires and hot cocoa at the way-stations -- and not be overwhelmed by the immensity of the goal.